01 April 2003 - 12:07 a.m.

Is it odd to wear a dress to bed? I mean, to seek it out and wear it on purpose?

I had a bit of a crappy night last night. I was in the tub and the hot water ran out, then, even though I made a mad scramble to get my cold wet ass dressed, I looked down to find that I was menstruating all over my throw rug. Sorry, guys, but cramps are just the tip of the iceberg. Your period really becomes a drag when you start to ruin your shit.

I wanted to find something comfortable in which to sleep, something, perhaps, of the nightgown variety. But for whatever reason, all of my nightgowns are white. See above, the part in which I talk about ruining my shit, to understand my plight.

Then I remembered this navy blue knit dress I had, that is warm! And comfy! And navy blue! And I was like, take THAT, Aunt Flo! It's so nice, I may just make it a permanent nightshirt.

It's so nice to solve one's own problems. Sometimes I think the human race is too damned helpful.

Today, for instance, I remarked that there was too much escargot eaten in Fellini movies, and, in fact, too many escargot sharing the planet with me.

But this is okay, because I think human beings should be alloted one or two major aversions in life. I happen to find the sight of mollusks nauseating. This is not wholly unreasonable.

Or is it? Because Are and Just J. seem to think I'm missing out by not worshipping those creepy crawlers with their cute little antennae, and actually tried to come up with a plan of action to get me to like them.

"You can get through this!" Are kept insisting. I was just like, um, dude, maybe you should be more concerned about my fear of working on my thesis. And if there's anything I need to get through this semester, it's my language exam.

Just J. was like, "I'm gonna go to the pet store and buy you one! Will you at least let us buy you one?"

I was like, "Not if you want to stay friends with me!"

They let it drop eventually, but I can sense an intervention on the horizon.

I broke my Lenten fast (I've given up buying things online) by purchasing auto insurance directly from the Geico website. Which means all I have to do is register my new vehicle before I get to ride all the way to Catawba with Chankla in order to pick up the Chankmobile. Apparently, this is the easiest way to pick up my car.

FYI, nothing involving smalltalk is ever easy. But she's only trying to be helpful.

There's that word again. Huh.

What I'm wearing: Soon to be my dress-qua-nightie.

What I'm reading: The little voice in my head telling me to read John Kennedy Toolebox.

What I'm doing after this: Skipping the Toolebox in favor of setting my hair.