2001-08-08 - 10:17 p.m.

We have a word. It's called irony.

I think joining the work slackers webring has cursed the workload I'm expected to handle at the office. The only time I could find for an entry is now, while Gus is engrossed in Law and Order. For some reason, I just can't get into episodes of a show that formulaiac when I've seen the ep already. I don't know why. Oh wait- it's because the shoe is really formulaiac.

I woke Gus in the middle of the night laughing from a dream I had. What a great feeling. I hope everyone can experience it at least once.

In the dream, I was housesitting for someone who had just purchased the Sam's Club collection of the worst videos of all time, 12,000 in all, for a dollar. The cool thing about the videos was that they truly were the worst movies of all time, and therefore, had never been released. So it was quite a treat to read all the bad titles like:

Great Sandals of Ancient Greece

The Dinosour's Stein (feel-good cartoon about a Yoshi-looking creature and his special beer mug)

Tummy, Honey? (another cartoon, this one about a small boy with a stomach ailment.)

Honey, Tummy? (the sequel)

Let Me Say One More Thing For the Second Time: this title made more sense in the dream. It was kind of like watching the guy you know who is most annoying to argue with and watching it on movie form.)

These titles were not nearly as funny to Gus as they were to me, so I almost regret typing them at all. Though they might at least be good inspiration for anyone looking for a band name.

Speaking of regrettable diaryland offenses, I don't usually enjoy reading other people's random AIM conversations, and yet, I'm not taking that into account at all as I post a conversation I just had with Matt Heap. I think it's a fine example of my advice-giving savvy. I'm sure everyone else will think it's just an example of my sheer weirdness. Oh well.

T1meWarp78: do you know when you're getting back?

mheapbrit: 23rd, probably

T1meWarp78: cool

mheapbrit: In order to snag the better of the rooms.

T1meWarp78: i see, no dining room for you!

mheapbrit: I'll be really pissed off for a long time after the conditions I had to live in last year if I get stuck in a dining room.

T1meWarp78: you could make doors

mheapbrit: from what?

T1meWarp78: plywood.

T1meWarp78: i guess.

mheapbrit: and carry them up?

T1meWarp78: hmm. i don't know. just get the better room

mheapbrit: I'm afraid of physical violence. How do you think I should argue my case?

T1meWarp78: invent a girlfriend

T1meWarp78: who hates her roommate

T1meWarp78: and is a fat nudist

mheapbrit: They both know me too well.

mheapbrit: However, Mark has a boyfriend, who may or may not be a fat nudist.

T1meWarp78: well, maybe if you started dressing like a hippie or something

mheapbrit: maybe if I set fire to the kitchen

T1meWarp78: and convinced them you'd had a big life change

T1meWarp78: and played aeorsmith's "fat bottomed girls" 47 hours a day

T1meWarp78: on the hi-fi you guys are supposedly going to have

T1meWarp78: and put a lot of books about nudism on the coffee table

T1meWarp78: and hang up posters of carney wilson

mheapbrit: oh dear god.

T1meWarp78: they will think, "my, we thought we knew matt, but we certainly don't seem to know hiom at all!"

T1meWarp78: and leave you in the good room to find yourself

What I'm wearing:

What I'm reading:

What I'm doing after this: