6 February 2002 - 5:24 p.m.

�Which Classic Book Are You?��Book:�William Shakespeare's Hamlet.��Synopsis:�Hamlet is an atmosperic story of internalization - of feelings (guilt, love, hatred), of people, thoughts, and actions. Marked by indecision and a strong sense of self-pity and self-consciousness, Hamlet makes the slow transition from fear to determination in his quest to avenge his father's death. Oedipal complex, supernatural powers, royal incest, revenge - these are all explored in the play. Several famous questions are posed and thoughts explored - of existence, suicide, meaning, value. Hamlet is just packed with philosophy, psychology, and humanity. A must-read in which you will find many of the most famous soliloquies in all of Shakespeare.��Excerpt:�To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?--To die,--to sleep,--no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to,--'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd.��Amazon:�Hamlet���Which Classic Book Are You?

Never mind that it's a play. I, too, know a hawk from a handsaw, y'all.

I was late to work today, and I hate to say why. It's because I couldn't find a thing to wear. For those of you who have never met me, or have never known me long enough to acquire an invitation to my apartment, you should know that the jpellecchia residence is an absolute treasure trove of beautiful clothes, and most of them are on the floor. Two dressers, one closet, and a dozen or so hooks are simply not enough to house all of my outfits.

The trouble is, most of what I own is a.) unsuitable for winter in Pittsburgh - I realize that all women used to wear skirts and dresses every day, but I can't run around in high heels and an air-conditioned cootchie every day or b.) cocktail attire. So I get sick of the same old limited selection of pants, and paranoia about a certain bodily function kept me from donning my boring, light-colored khakis, anyway. So I pulled out a pair of very cool eggplant-colored slacks, which are a bt tricky to wear. For one, not everything goes with eggplant. For two, these pants are cut to make me look far more pear-shaped than usual, and I don't like looking fatter than I am.

Here is where those of you who have seen me in person step in and say, "Shut up, you stupid ho, you know you're not fat." Exactly. So why should I have to look fat? In additon to being skinny, I am a vain bitch. But I have to work hard to keep my figure. I have to work hard at eating lots of fat and calories for my turbo-metabolism to burn and large knockers to absorb.

Oh my God. How do I have any friends at all?

So, anyway, I was super-picky about my outfit, include the wrinkles in my pants. How do you iron the asses of pants? I just can't seem to do it. And nothing says "inconsistent and incompetant" like a pair of purple pants with nice leg creases and a baggy, wrinkly ass. It did not help that I was feeling crappy, or, more specifically, crampy. I have to apologize to my male friends/readers for talking about my cycle so much, but I just can't get my mind around the thing. I mean, it's a simple process. So why do my back and legs hurt? They don't contibute in any way to what's going on. Why does my head have to ache? And the hostile takeover of my digestive system, is that really necessary? My period is like big business when what I really prefer are mom-and-pop ventures.

My period is Wal-Mart. I'll be damned. In more ways than one.

What I'm wearing:

What I'm reading:

What I'm doing after this: