17 April 2003 - 4:47 p.m.

A couple of things have found their way into my guestbook, so and I think they are worthy of an entry.

TO JENN STOP FOUND PERFECT BOOK FOR YOU STOP QUERY DO YOU OWN GALLERY OF REGRETTABLE FOOD STOP WILL SHIP TO YOU IF YOU DO NOT ALREADY OWN AND ARE NOT INHERENTLY AFRIAD STOP MAKING SENSE STOP END

from Alert

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2:40 pm - Thursday,April 17, 2003

DEAR WHOMEVER STOP I DO NOT OWN GALLERY OF REGRETTABLE FOOD STOP I HAVE READ IT THOROUGHLY STOP IF YOU ARE READING IT THOROUGHLY STOP STOP IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING PREPARING ANY OF THOSE RECIPES PLEASE STOP STOP CANNED MEAT AND VEG-ALL MUST BE STOPPED STOP END

Speaking of meat, canned or otherwise, I feel like such a big fat ethnic whatever for thinking that Easter just won't be Easter without somebody cooking lamb in the back yard. But it's true.

i was telling christian that i thought raoul duke was the best name ever for a cat. then, it occured to me that your cat's name is hatbox. shhh...don't tell raoul.

from jodie

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0:08 am - Wednesday,April 16, 2003

Poor Raoul. It seems to me that most cats are at the mercy where thier owners fall along the Cat Name vs. People Name Divide.

Throwing out all the people that name their cats crap-ass unimaginative cutesy names like Princess or Precious, and people that name their cats based on certain properties of those cats (Whiskers, Fluffy, Tabby, etc.)lots of pet owners seem to work on the philosophy that pets are part of the family and must have human names. Some real life examples of this are Ralph, Charlie, Cassidy, and Trixie (all cats) and Mel, Maxine, and Dave (dogs.)

Others are very keen on object names: Hatbox, Biscuit, Teakettle, Apple. I fit into this category. My next two cats will be named Satchel and Valise. For added flair, I will probably give them the last names Mouth and Lewton.

Which brings me to the tradition of naming pets after famous people, which seems to be working out really well for a number of people. Rappers seem to take the lead amongst dogs I know, but poets, artists, and others also frequently make the cut.

The popularity of naming pets after fictional characters often overlaps with the real-name category, so one should be aware of the origin of the many meowing and barking Scarletts and Rhetts and Ricks and Ilsas and Harveys and Buffys. I know a family who has a dog named after both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Blanche DuBois. This is one dog. Her name is Buffy the Vampire Slayer Blanche DuBois Familyname.

I think Claude Rains would be a sweet little name for an undersized cat. But I am also a bitch.

My apologies to anyone whose pet I named without linking to his or her diary. Just consider it a shout out to your pets, who, unless I am mistaken, do not type updates in D-Land.

To me, you do not seem like a Jenny. Ok, you can still claim that Belle & Sebastian song for yourself, but there are certain qualities that I think a Jenny would possess that I do not believe you possess (although I don't really know you so really, what do I know?) In related news, there is only one good song that has my name for it's title and it is by the London band Hefner. Yay!

from toothbrush

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6:29 pm - Tuesday,April 15, 2003

This is true. The only people who call me Jenny are my oldest friends, Bill and Bob, and I address them as the fairly embarrassing Billy and Bobby. But Jenny is something I buried in my youth shortly after the release of Forrest Gump for various reasons. However, I like "Photojenny" because it's a good song, and a clever phrase, and I am actually quite photoenic. History has been kind to me in that I generally look better in most pictures than I do in everyday life.

I tried to find that Hefner song on Kazaa, but with no luck. I will say this much about Hugh Hefner, though. I read that he has like, a film series where he shows classic films at the Playboy mansion on Friday nights, and afterward has a discussion about them. Which is kind of cool in a "Hugh Hefner is cooler than I thought" way, but not in, you know, an actual cool way.

I actually wrote and turned in something for workshop in less than five minutes and on a dare.

Maybe I should have held out for a triple-dog dare.

What I'm wearing: Dress made from 1950s reproduction pattern, white cotton with purple butterfly print, pearls.

What I'm reading: Well, not Hefner, I'm afraid.

What I'm doing after this: Chapter, I dunno, 8? I'm so on the ball, I've lost count!