02 October 2003 - 2:07 p.m.

I think when I said that I judge people based on the DVDs/videos they own, I should have added that nobody's collection has ever made me like him/her more or less. But it does affect how much I can relate to that person on like, an insidious hipster level.

(Last night, I heard an insidious hipster say that only insidious hipster like to buy vinyl records, so you'll have to bear with me for 3 or 4 weeks while I make fun of that phrase.)

Overall, seeing good movies is more important than owning good movies, thanks to a little thing I like to call the Kang Factor.

My friend Kang is super-rad. His English isn't perfect, which his uses to his advantage by making up lots of malapropisms and pretending he doesn't know what he's talking about. He also does things he is forbidden to do outright, like the times he included singing bears in his playwriting scense, though expressly told not to.

So, in his own way, Kang can really fuck some shit up, and he can be really genial and funny about it. He's also excellent at physical comedy. He's kind of like if you got to hang out with all the Marx Brothers at once, only Zeppo, instead of being the straight man, sang and danced in a boy band.

I won't get into any specific stories about Kang, since he might be coming to visist this weekend, in which case I might as well wait and post a fresh one on Monday. But once, getting our coats from his bedroom after a party, we asked him why he had so many DVDs still in shrink-wrap on his shelves.

"It's because if you have a lot of movies, girls will like you," he explained.

The Kang Factor, ladies and gentlemen.

What I'm wearing: Gray pants, button-down.

What I'm reading: I swear to God, this heater sounds like a train.

What I'm doing after this: The Black Atlantic by Paul Gilroy