07 January 2004 - 12:30 a.m.

I feel like an asshole tonight because I think I'm going to have to be one of those bitchy brides that doesn't allow any unmarried, non-engaged person to bring a date to her wedding.

I really don't want to do this, but the alternative means excluding kids, which is a tempting idea, but would just exclude way too much family to be appropriate. My dad also asked me to invite a mere three of his relatives, and I totally shot him down, which I never should have done. Yes, these are people I have not seen in more than a decade; however, it's not really my place to tell the guy who's footing the bill that three more bodies are going to break the bank.

It's just that by now our guest list has been through so much growth and shrinkage due to so many unsolicited invitation requests that I don't really feel like accomodating anyone anymore. But by some weird coincidence, if I add my Dad's requests, all of my grandparents, (save my fave, who is an only child) will have two siblings invited, which is about as close to equal as my fucked-up and fractured family is going to get.

So in the interest of not being a jerk, I'm adding my Dad's requests right now. Yeah, I thought my uncle died a few years ago and yeah, I don't know my Aunt's last name, and if she is even married, and yeah, I hope they won't come because frankly, if I ran into them on the street there's no way I would recognize them. But whatever, my relationship with my father is really more important than my relationship with friends of friends. If I haven't met and/or befriended someone's S.O. by now, it's pretty much too late to worry about offending him or her.

The other thing is that if I eliminate dates, I eliminate the B-list, which is huge. That means I can invite everyone Gus and I want to invite in one fell swoop, without having to hold off on inviting people like my Hollins buddies simply because I've known them for less time.

I probably should have consulted Gus before posting this entry.

On second thought, fuck it. His date will be there.

And I figure, since 2004 is a leap year, I'm not even preventing anyone from seeing his or her honey for less than 364 nights a year, which is an ambitious average for even the happiest (horniest?) couple.

So, you know, cheers 'n'at.

What I'm wearing: Plaid pjs.

What I'm reading: "Wasted Time," of all things, is in my head.

What I'm doing after this: Resigning myself to pissing off friends and not family, for once.