16 March 2004 - 7:04 p.m.

It's been a geek week. And it's only Tuesday.

Ever since 10 a.m. yesterday, I have heard nothing but "Rozhayyyyyyyyy... Chartyayyyyy..........! Rozhayyyyyyy!

ChartyAAAAAAAYYYY!"

Always in very hushed tones, of course, for Roger-with-a-y is a French intellectual. And Roger-with-a-y will be speaking to us geeks on Friday afternoon. And Roger-with-a-y is an expert on book history, which is apparently part of cultural studies now. Because God forbid the vocal and annoying early Modernist intelligentsia of Pittsburgh have a hobby for which there are no academic conferences.

So just when I was ready to say "fuck the bloody frog, already!" everyone got an email from Prof. McFilmProf announcing (in all caps, probably as a contrast to all those whispered "Rozhay Chartyaes) that DICK HEBDIGE! was coming to campus.

Yell it with me, folks:

DICK!

HEBDIGE!

Oh, how we, the tv-watching, Bob Dylan quoting, scopophiliac pre-nuclear showdownists of the academic world, love our Dick Hebdige! How we love the father of subculture studies! How we love the fact that subculture studies and cultural studies share lots of letters!

But what I do not love is that there's going to be a runmble.

Last month, it was the same. You walked into Baker Hall, and you could smell the division. Who was excited about the Volpone lecture by one of the editors of The Norton Shakespeare? Who was waiting to hear the author of The Black Atlantic contest cosmopolitanism in the Middle East?

When would the tension end?

As much as I hate hearing about academic infighting, I have to admit I'm getting fed up with early Modernism, and I know the early Modernists are getting fed up me. Today I wasted 15 minutes of a classmate's time asking her to defend robotics, which I argued was just another way for the bourgeousie to alienate the working classes.

This is something I don't even believe, but I thought she might benefit from a few minutes away from Tolkein. It turns out that she thought I didn't understand the concept of efficiency, so I had to let the argument fizzle out before it turned out to be a waste of my time.

I would feel worse about this if her friend didn't keep abusing me for being a big "sweetness and light" Arnoldian, which is not an accurate representation of me. Mostly it comes from the fact that I find Othello more sympathetic than Iago. Apparently, that last thing is no longer a no-brainer.

The funny thing about this guy who doesn't believe in liberal education is that I think he's too conservative to do anything but teach history in a public high school. Let's hope it's English History Prior to Labor Movements and Racial Diversity.

Was that mean? Yeah, it was. But at least it wasn't as tacky as the time I went into class early and strategically chose a chair that would be out of Prof. McHotHot's direct line of sight.

The thing about Prof. McHotHot these days is that I don't love him anymore, so sitting where we can make eye contact just means that he calls on me to answer every third question because I'm one of three people whose names he can remember.

After making my strategic seating choice and plunking down my stuff, I went to the ladies to relieve myself before the too-manyeth discussion on Horkheimer and Adorno. Or Fuckheimer and Adilhole, if you will.

Well, when I came back, ready to defend the culture industry, all my stuff had been moved from its strategic spot to another. Apparently, I didn't need to choose my own chair, nor would I mind if someone stole it, seeing as how I think poor people should be exposed to "the best that has been thought and written." Homeboy had decided he wanted the seat, and to take his shoes off during the lecture.

Brown leather shoes. Removed. To reveal white socks.

Three days later, he did not show up to the Paul Gilroy lecture.

Whoreson. And, to use another Shakespearean term, I think I'm gonna break his pate one of these days.

Where was I even going with this entry?

Oh, yeah.

DICK HEBDIGE could beat up rojhaaayyyy... chartyaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy.

What I'm wearing: Whatever I could find.

What I'm reading: The Port Huron Statement.

What I'm doing after this: Trying to prove that hippies are gross and SDS rules supreme.