2001-07-31 - 10:40 a.m.

I came to a conclusion last night.

Being single for a while never hurt any one.

Three factors (and a lifetime of others, but three specifically) led me to this conclusion.

Factor the first: From Jess' diary, dated 7/25: "Everyone's talking abt love and stuff in their journals. So I will too. I dont know quite how people AFFORD it. It takes so much time. I am so slowly moving towards my fully-realized self that I think I had best not dabble in such affairs, altho it would be fun. I mean, if that train hits you, you may as well be dragged along with it, but its not something I think I ought to seek out just for the sake of seeking it out. Theres all that bread to eat! All those buses to ride! All that art to make! All that Paradise Lost to be read! You could say Im jealous, or you could just say that its a lot more economical to listen to songs abt it. I can do something else in the meantime. I can vacuum the floor while Im humming. I can multi-task."

Point taken. Moving on to factor the second: Yesterday, I had to write a consoling email to a friend who had just "virtually" broken up with her boyfriend (her term, not mine, so don't ask what it means because I don't know), and that was no easy task. Why? Because I really wasn't sorry. I am sorry that she loves him and wants to ebwith him, and I'm sorry that's causing her pain. I don't want to put the guy down because he was a decent boyfriend, and also a friend of mine. However, the realtionship was going nowhere. He had made it clear over the course of their 3 (4?) years together that he didn't plan on marrying her. He broke up with her on a couple of occasions, usually before going off on a trip of some type- presumably to have one-night stands. It seems to me that the longer he was with her, the less he was going to be faithful, and the worse he was going to treat her. So bowing out at this point was not necessarily a dishonorable thing to do to my friend. Could I tell her that? Hell no! So I tried to get her excited about the new phase in her life. I haven't heard back. Too bad, at that point, I hadn't come to the startling revelation that being single isn't going to do her any harm.

Factor the third (or, the factor that pushed me over the edge into my new enlightened state) from Nicola: "male front rather

bleak, not a beau for miles. thank god Richard is loyal.

have also started quilting, a natural result of working in

a quilt shop...as though we needed something else to bond

over, or spend money on."

See? She is preparing to direct Richard III. She is quilting. SHE HAS A JOB IN A QUILT SHOP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! She can bond with her fellow woman. She has so much to live for!!!

I could go on and extol the virtues of the single life, but I won't, as that often prompts my single friends to extol the virutes of people like me fucking themselves. And because work calls, I will stop here.

For now, at least. For someday, I will write a book about relationships. I can feel it coming. And that will be my legacy.

Why, God? Why?

What I'm wearing:

What I'm reading:

What I'm doing after this: