2001-07-17 - 10:42 p.m.

Ever try to make yourself seem more normal, and just end up freaking someone out in the process?

Over dinner tonight, (Rueben for him and Raechel for me; gag if you wanna, I've got time) I tell Gus that I had ordered a free subscription to the Jewish Bride catalog. Our subsequent dialogue goes something to the effect of:

GUS: Why? You're not Jewish.

ME: I'm trying to read up on some more multi-cultural traditions. I think that's important for an aspiring wedding planner.

GUS: What?

ME: If I ever have to plan a Jewish wedding, I have to know where to get the goods.

GUS: Why would you plan a Jewish wedding?

ME: Because I might want to be a wedding planner some day.

GUS: Are you serious?

ME: Gus, why else would I be having Jewish Bride sent to my aprtment?

GUS: That's so weird!

ME: You know what? You're really lucky, ok? I mean, it was easy for you to be all smart and go to school for computer science, and then you can graduate and get a great job and retire at like 27-

GUS: 65.

ME: Even so, you're going to be able to graduate and get a job, with good pay.

GUS: Well, then, you're all set, aren't you?

ME: Not necessarily. We don't know what's going to happen between us.

GUS: True.

ME: And if we do get married in a few years, I'll want to keep some shred of self-respect and at least try to have a career.

GUS: Well, sure. I wouldn't want it any other way.

ME: And I think I might want to be a wedding planner.

GUS: (laughing) You're so weird.

ME: Why? I mean, why did you think I was always looking at bridal stuff?

GUS: I thought you just really wanted to get married. Now I think you're a freakshow.

ME: Ok, fine. But say a Jew we know gets married. I can explain all the symbolism to you.

GUS: Ok, I guess that's true.

ME: And we could order a gift from the Jewish Bride catalog.

GUS: What kind of gift are we going to be able to find in the Jewish Bride catalog?

ME: There are traditional gifts for Hanukkah, right? So we'll look through the catalog and see.

GUS: Ok.

ME: Even if I don't become a wedding planner, worst case scenario is that in a few years, I'll know everything about planner our wedding.

GUS: I suppose you have a point there.

We leave the topic to rest for the remainder of the meal, turning our attention instead to directors' commentary tracks on DVDs (he's for them, I'm somewhat against) and then, naturally, to all things Woody Allen after agreeing that Woody Allen would never do a commentary track. But as we exit the restaurant, I can't help saying:

You know, I can't believe you're bothered by the fact that I like weddings, but didn't mind the idea that I was obsessing over them because I wanted to get engaged. Any other guy would run screaming from a girl like me if that's what he thought my intentions were.

GUS: Well, I'm not every other guy.

ME: I know that. I'm just saying. It's not like I don't want to get married. But how could you think I wanted to get married that bad? I mean, I'm not even ready to think about not living alone to-

GUS: Do you see a ring anywhere? Did I give you a ring? Do I look ready to you?

ME: No! I'm just trying to explain to you where I'm coming from. And the more I try to justify all my motives to you, the more freaked out you get. The more normal it seems to me, the weirder it gets for you.

GUS: I know!

And that's where it ended, at rather a stalemate, I suppose. I think it's the closest to a fight we've ever had, factoring in the lack of mutual agreement and/or apology made by one or both parties. I would nonetheless classify it as a difference of opinion, as, whether my transcript reveals this or not, it was a pretty lighthearted debate.

And yet, he thinks I'm a freakshow. I think I'm career oriented. Who's right?

What I'm wearing:

What I'm reading:

What I'm doing after this: