2001-07-05 - 3:20 p.m.

As a writer, or, more specifically, as a lazy writer who does what she can to develop her imagination in order to escape 100% dilettantehood, I am prone to developing weird notions. Outlandish ideas that I ought to abandon intrigue me to the point of obsession (remember the engagement of Hatbox "My Kitten" McSneezy and Stanley "Completely Fictional" Washington. More on that soon.) So please don't think me completely insane when I detail the evil that lurks at the edge of the APAA.

I also have the often unpleasant, but sometimes interesting (to my voyeuristic ass) task of sorting, printing, and even checking my boss' email.

This task became more interesting than usual over the past few weeks, as some office discord between a woman and her supervisor saw the resignation of said woman from our floor. At first, I didn't want to take sides - I don't like the supervisor. She is a mean and weird person, the Penny Hatpin of a pervious entry. I think she noticed today that when I got up to send a fax, Netscape was open, a fancy wedding cake gleaming on the iMac screen. I don't care. She has gross hair, grey and frizzy, a fingernails-on-the-chalkboard voice, and one of the most irritating personas I have ever encountered in my life. And she's always got her chank up in a wank over something: she doesn't like person X working on her doctoral thesis, or person Y taking a vacation. Or else, she's got somebody's chank in this perpetual state of wank. Today, she chose me. I had 100 things to do, many of which were absolved when Barbara, being bedridden with bronchitis, and she felt the need to have a conniption regarding whether or not I had consulted with Susan, who volunteered to take on some of B's appointments for today because "Da Boss-Lady got some emails and Da Boss-Lady isn't here and who's going to take are of all of this!" And this went on in an awfully theatrical fashion for another minute or two, as I sat shaking my head - of course I had everything taken care of; I had made all the appointments! And wouldn't you know, when I approached Susan to ask if she needed anything, she said no. Typical Penny Hatpin behavior.

A few hours later, Penny wanted to know if there was "anyone who would be available to make a delivery." Well, seeing as how I was the only one there, that person would have to be me. So I volunteered, although I thought her request was rudely put. It's sort of like going to someone's house and asking if they have anything to drink or eat. Of course your host has some type of food and beverage in the house, why insinuate that they do not? The only really acceptable way to request something at a person's home is to ask if you might have a glass of water - then your host, understanding that you are thirsty, will inquire as to whether or not you would like water or something else - perhaps a cup of coffee, or a Coke? And they will more often than not set out some pretzels or nut bread as well, even though all you requested was water. It's like an upgrade of sorts. But I went, nonetheless, and as I left Warner Hall, the sky was threatening, but I was sure it wouldn't rain.

Roughly 30 seconds later, a light sprinkle was turning into a torrential downpour - and me with no umbrella, and "Me and Bobby McGee" in my head. And I got to thinking about all the email Penny Hatpin had been sending to Barbara, and how she had so rudely called her employee who resigned a "dark cloud looming over the whole office," even though this was a person who sang and cooked and baked fantastic Italian desserts for everyone's birthday. And I thought about the weirdass symmetry between her perceived black cloud and the real black cloud raining down on me, and I thought "only Penny Hatpin would do this to me."

In this life, we are so ready to chalk irritating mannerisms, mean comments, and calculating, vindictive behavior up to spaziness. When the truth of the matter is if we believe in evil, then we have got to face the fact that the Penny Hatpins among us might be evil. What if Penny Hatpin were the root of all evil? What would be the repercussions?

Call me crazy, but I'm not ruling it out.

What I'm wearing:

What I'm reading:

What I'm doing after this: